Lost my job today…

Remember that super-duper job I was so excited about six months ago? Well, that’s it. Today was the last day of the probationary period and the company decided to move on without me.

A few days ago, an invitation from my boss to a “probationary period final review” appeared in my Outlook inbox. I expected this, it was the standard procedure in this company (or at least in my department) and I was looking forward to it. They always do one review meeting half way through the probationary period and another at the very end. I still remember the two colleagues, who joined the company a few months before me, coming out of their review meetings with big smiles on their faces. Afterwards they threw a big party and… oh, what a joy. I was thinking along these lines while I was finishing some paperwork and preparing to go into the meeting room for my final review.

I remember mentioning to one of the colleagues earlier today that I’m having my final review meeting in the afternoon and went on saying how this was the last day of my probationary period and that I was so exited. We agreed that this company rule was indeed a bit awkward and that perhaps the company should not always wait until the very last moment to let the employee know if they’re staying or leaving. But we were both sure that in my case, this was a pure formality as I was doing a good job and I also fit quite well in the team. “Yeah”, I thought, “for the past few months I’ve been living for this job, so what could possibly go wrong?” My booking numbers literally exploded since I took charge of my own account portfolio. Or at least that was my impression…

“I’ll come straight to the point”, said the HR lady the moment we sat down. She was sitting right there in front of me, at the opposite side of the table. My boss was sitting quite a bit further away, almost at the other end of the long conference table, as if she was not participating in this meeting. “We decided to move on without you” the HR lady said. The first thought that crossed my mind was that she was trying to make a joke. So I smiled for a second. We got to know each other well during the past few months, were going out for lunch together and had a really good vibe. Or so I thought. Therefore I considered a joke to start off this kind of meeting quite ok. But then I turned to my boss and saw her sitting far away at the other side, holding tight to her chair. She just sat there in her black pullover and despite the sunny Friday afternoon, her face suddenly seemed to be turning gray. She stared back at me without saying a word. And within a second I realized this was not a joke. That’s when it hit me. Holy Moly, this is for real. I’m being fired.

I decided to speak up and I said (as if it was going to make any difference): “first of all, thank you for the chance you’ve given me. I really appreciate that. But I do have to ask: why didn’t you give me a signal, a warning signal that I might be steering in the wrong direction? I explicitly asked for feedback on several occasions. And didn’t get any, let alone an honest feedback.” “This decision was not an easy one for us to make”, she replied. “But why in the world did you ask me about my future team unit preferences just the other day, if it was obvious that you were letting me go?” “I am truly sorry.”, she answered in such tone of voice that it felt as if I was talking to some AI phrase generator. The HR lady interrupted this dialogue: “…the commission you’ve earned will be paid out to you in the time to come”. “Well, I sure hope it will”, I thought. After all, I earned the money, didn’t I?

And then, in an unusually calm, low voice, as if she was talking to a child, the HR lady said: “we will now go over to your desk, so that you can pack your personal belongings”. And while I was collecting my stuff from the drawers, she quickly took the laptop and the mobile phone from the desktop.

I gave each teammate one last hug and said goodbye. Even my (ex) boss stood up. I can’t say for sure, but it looked like she might have expected a hug, too. “I wish you all the best, from the bottom of my heart!”, she said. I slowly raised my hand and kind of just waved back at her, without saying a word. I mean, what was I supposed to say? “Yeah, I wish you all the best, too!” And perhaps add a “Cheerio!” to that?

And there I was, headed towards the exit, carrying a silly paper bag full of my personal belongings, escorted by the HR lady. A scene you’d normally see in those American movies happening to me in real life. Heh. Surreal. When we reached the door, she said: “Come here, let me give you a hug”, in a bright and ever so friendly voice. Honestly, I was so totally confused at that moment, that I just replied, without much thinking: “Nah, you don’t have to” and stepped out of the office building for the last time.

And now? What is left from the dream castle I’ve been building during the past few months? Well, for one, a few absolutely beautiful, unforgettable moments. And a few really nice acquaintances. New experiences and lessons learned. And a feeling of guilt. Guilt that I didn’t try harder. Guilt that I didn’t fit in better. That I failed. I had a chance and I blew it. And a feeling of shame. I’ve never been fired from any job before in my life. Ever. So it feels totally weird…

But, ok folks – you know how they say: “in every difficulty there is an opportunity”. So, let me wrap it up at this point and go look for my opportunities… 😎

Couples therapy

My wife and I were having a slight variance of opinion lately on various (= just about any) day to day topics regarding our lives. And… since this “lately” lasts for many years already I decided to finally do something about it. Bam! I moved out of the family home to a small apartment, where I’m now lying in bed and writing these lines. But wait, before you judge me, before you call me a coward or something, read on…

It became obvious to me that my wife was not going to do anything about the situation, so I had to take another step towards finding a solution for our problem. And where do you go first, when it comes to relationship problems? A shrink. Yeah, right. Ok, but since I’m not alone in this mess, I googled “couples therapy” and “marriage counseling” and came accross this guy’s website offering a trial session. Not a free trial session, but never the less a trial session. “Heck” I thought, “why not give it a try?”. So I filled out and submitted the online form. The theraphyst replied rather quickly and proposed a date and time for our first session. I accepted the appointment and – before you know it…

…my wife and I were sitting in this guys office, in comfortable leather armchairs. He was looking curiously in our direction while my look was wandering all over the room, analyzing the abstract pictures that were hanging on the walls, massive wooden door, the ceiling with the old pieces of stucco… I turned back to him when he said:

“First of all, I’d like to know what you’re here for and I also want you to tell me what you expect from this session.” Huh. I knew that a question of this kind was going to come in one form or another, but I was really not ready for it. And it is anyway obvious what we were here for. So I asked him, as if I hadn’t understood the question: “What do I expect?” He confirmed: “Yes.” I thought for a second and then I answered, forcing a smile upon my face for a second: “A miracle”. He took it seriously and replied: “A miracle? What kind of miracle?” The first thought that crossed my mind was: “What kind? Oh, man. What do I know what kind? Just a plain vanilla regular kind of miracle. If they would be selling miracles in coffee shops, one would order it as: “One regular latte-miracle to go, please.” So I just said: “A miracle that would help us find a way out of our current situation.”

And then we started our long discussion about the marriage, kids, parenthood, feelings, problems and challenges,… He’s good, I must admit. A real professional. Asks the right questions and then leans back and lets the two of us talk about all the shite that was bothering us… And so we went on for almost two hours, each of us explaining their position and telling the story from a different perspective. Obviously, we haven’t found any tailor made solutions during these two hours. But rather just learned a general recipe for finding a solution: listen to each other, try to acknowledge and understand the position of the other one and so on… And – interestingly enough, this was a nice chance to say things and talk about topics which would otherwise remain untold, simply because neither of us was ready to hear them.

I can’t wait to see how all this develops. I’ll keep you posted!

Days of health and gratefulness

Yesterday we had a so called “Health Day” in my company. Each employee was given the opportunity to apply for a short medical examination, including lungs, eyesight, hearing, blood pressure, blood count etc. So I applied…

And there I am, sitting in a small office room which was converted to a doctor’s office for this occasion. The medical practitioner, a friendly and chatty mid-aged woman started right off with an interview:

“Height?”

“180cm”

“How much do you weigh?”

“92kg” (I lied, I’m currently closer to 93-94kg)

“Any chronic diseases?”

“No”.

“Any known eyesight issues?”

“No.”

“Ok, we’ll check that”.

“Hearing. Is your hearing ok?”

“Yes.”

“We’ll check that, too”.

“Are you suffering from tinitus?”

“No. That is, well, if I really concentrate I am able to hear a very high pitched sound when my environment is completely still and silent. But I don’t hear this sound all the time, no”.

“Any issues with your bones? Joints?”

“No. Wait, yes – my knees do hurt sometimes but I attribute that to my being slightly overweight. I expect this pain to disappear once I’m down to my goal weight od 78-82 kg”.

“Do you smoke?”

“Nah, I quit several years ago.”

“Alcohol?”

“Nope. It’s been a few years since I quit that, too.”

“Not even a glass of vine or a beer, occassionally?”

“No. Honestly. Not a sip.

And then I told her that I’ll go ahead and jot down all of the above in my “gratitude list”. “Gratitude list”? She looked at me. Yes. A gratitude list. Some time ago I discovered by “coincidence” (I’m putting coincidence in quotes because I believe that “coincidences” don’t exist. Everything happens for a reason) a book on this subject, where the author wrote down 1000 reasons for being grateful in life. And this came just after I finished reading Nick Vujičić’s book “Life Without Limits: Inspiration for a Ridiculously Good Life”. Oh, that book was a life changer. I was instantly cured of all the issues I thought I had. I realised that not only I was not missing anything, but I actually have (much) more than the most: I’m alive, healthy, have enough to eat, have enough money, there is no war going on here where I live… Nick is, for example, totally grateful for the one foot he’s got (he was born without arms and legs). Among other things, that is. I totally recommend this book.

So she went on with the examination, my eyes are ok. My hearing is perfect. My lungs have 97% capacity. Blood pressure 107/68. Woooha! And so on…

In my gratitude list I currently have 35 items, ranging from “I’m grateful for having healthy and strong arms, hands and legs” to “I’m grateful for being able to take a shower with fresh water, whenever I want, and choose water temperature which suites me best”.

Too often we forget what we have. We forget our health, we forget that we posess so much of everything, all the necessary and unnecessary bits and pieces. Those of us living in the West also tend to forget that there are no armed conflicts around us.

Alive, healthy and free. This is my foundation. Everything else that comes on top is a nice extra. It’s not that I’m not developing my “extras”. Quite the opposite – I enjoy working on all aspects of my life, starting with health, wealth, various skills and ultimately true happiness.

And what is it that you’re missing? And what are you grateful for? 😀

Papa’s got a brand new job!

Hey dudes & dudettes, today was my first day in my new job! Woke up real early today, got on one of those early morning subway trains and in no time (ca. one hour 😀) I reached my new workplace. Oh, boy. Yep, I was excited. The moment I entered the building, I was greeted by the the two ladies at the reception. And then one of them handed me a flower. A “welcome flower”. How neat is that, ha?

Shortly after, my new boss came and wished me a warm welcome, too. And gave me a big hug. And then she showed me to my new desk. A laptop, monitor and phone were already set up and waiting for me to log in.

In the afternoon we had an introductory training (software, processes, etc.) and after that I left the office, took a loooong walk to the subway station and while strolling down the streets of Kreuzberg, in my head I forged plans for the near future.

New life begins, dudes and dudettes. A brand new life… 😀

Instagram account!

Hey everybody, hear this! Big news! Now you can follow me on Instagram. How cool is that, ha? I’ve got an Instagram account, you hear?

Ok, I know what you’re thinking – it’s 2019 so it’s really no biggie if someone has an Instagram account. But… NewLifeGuru on Instagram… guys! Hey! C’mon…

I’ve got lots of cool photos and videos over there! Free beer! Naked babes! No really, check it out:

https://www.instagram.com/newlifeguru/

Avocado smoothie

Dudes and dudettes, it’s been a while. Again. Sorry for that. I know, I know, I still owe you the story of how I left Bangkok aboard the night train on my way to Georgetown, Malaysia. And I’ll tell you all about it. I promise.

But right now I just wanted to quickly share with you my Avocado smoothie recipe. Since I came back from Bali, all I’m doing is making avocado smoothies. With sweetened condensed milk, of course. It seems to me that everywhere in SE Asia they have a new trend of putting sweetened condensed milk in all sorts of food. Yes, even avocado smoothies. 😀 Ok, so here you go:

Ingredients (for 1-2 persons)

  • 1 Avocado
  • 1 cup of milk (or soy milk)
  • a handful of crushed ice
  • 4-5 teaspoons of sweetened condensed milk

Preparation

Really easy-peasy. Put all of the ingredients in a blender and process until smooth. I usually start with avocado, ice and milk and add condensed milk later on. Depending on the preferred consistence you may want to add more or less milk. Same goes for condensed milk. Like it even sweeter? No problemo. Just add more of the yummy condensed milk (which, BTW, contains more than 50% sugar, so don’t go crazy…). Use chocolate topping to decorate the glass on the inside.

Enjoy!

Last day in Bangkok & Chatuchak market

19.05.2019

Sunday morning. I woke up early, already around 5:30 AM. Went downstairs to grab some breakfast and do final planning for my last day in Bangkok. Big on my list for today, before taking the night train to Butterworth:

Chatuchak (weekend) market.

Sure enough, Dao, my host, was already awake, happily singing, as she always does. Actually, all she seems to do all day is either sing or talk on the phone. Sometimes she even sings while talking to on the phone. Hehe. 😀

But anyways, back to the topic – according to Google maps, Chatuchak market is ca. 10 km away from my hostel. In my case this means hour and a half walking time, which is more than ok. And (also according to Google maps) it’s really just one long boulevard, nearly all the way… easy peasy.

After a short stop at 7eleven, armed with a bottle of cold water I started walking towards Chatuchak market. But… by the time I reached Democracy monument roundabout (just a few hundred meters away 😀), I realized that the day was a bit too hot for what I had in mind. I mean, I do love this weather but… this is too much of a good thing.

After my recent TukTuk experience I considered myself to be a seasoned tuktuk customer, so I decided to hail a TukTuk which will get me straight to Chatuchak market. As it was Sunday early morning, the streets around Democracy monument were quite empty and unusually calm. Practically no cars and no TukTuks around. But, believe it or not, the moment I thought of it, a TukTuk with a passenger (local guy) in the back seat appeared in front of me, slowing down. The passenger jumped out from the back seat and immediately asked: “Where are you going?”

Me: “Chatuchak market. How much TukTuk to Chatuchak market?”

Local guy: “Oooooh, Chatuchak, mmmmh. Weekend market closed now. Opens two o’clock!”

Yeah, right. I had this already… “Ok, ok, but how much TukTuk to Chatuchak?” I insisted.

“No, no, weekend market closed” said the local guy while jumping back on the TukTuk.

Me: “Ok, but please tell me: how much?”

Finally he replied: “Two hundred” as his TukTuk was driving away…

“Two hundred baht? WTF?! Good that he didn’t say 500 baht. No way TukTuk costs 200 baht from here to Chatuchak… I’ll have to ask someone else…”

So I continued walking down the street and aproached the first person I found: “Good morning sir, can you please help me?” And I quickly continued before he could answer anything: “How much would a TukTuk cost from here to Chatuchak market?” (I figured that any random pedestrian on a sunny Sunday morning would know this off the top of their head… 😀)

He looked at me and just said “Chatuchak, mmmh”. Then he lowerd his head and stared at his feet for a few moments. These few moments seemed like eternity. Suddenly, he raised his head and with a proud look in his eyes -as if he rememered something really important- he said: “10 kilometers!”

Now, if this were a scene from a comic book in which I was one of the characters, I would probably have had three big question marks above my head in that scene. I guess he realised this, so he added: “200 baht. Better take a bus.”

Hm… Bus. Yeah buddy, good idea. BTW, this was also on my to-do list – jump on a local bus from anywhere to anywhere in Bangkok, just to feel the vibe.

“Ok, thanks, man! Thank you so much! Have a nice day!” With those words I parted with the nice guy and continued towards the big boulevard on the way to Chatuchak market. (that’s where I hoped to find the bus stop).

Very first bus ride in Bangkok

After wandering around in the hot sun, finally I found a bus stop. Whoooo-ha! Chatuchak, here I come! But, wait… how do I know which bus to take?

I couldn’t ask Google because I had no Internet connection, so I asked the only person around – a senior who was sitting there and waiting for the bus. And as the old dude was not 100% sure, he consulted the street cleaning lady, who happened to be passing by just then. And after a short conversation, they both agreed that I should take bus No.16, on the opposite side of the street. “Thank you so much”, I said to both of them and ran accross the street to catch my bus.

In Bangkok, busses normally slow down a bit when approaching bus stops and people then give a hand signal to the driver that they want to get on the bus. Otherwise the bus just drives by without stopping.

I was the only one waiting at this bus stop, so I waived at the bus driver when I saw No.16 approaching. Bus stopped. Door opened. I got on the bus.

Bangkok’s city busses always have a driver and a conductor. When the conductor lady came to sell me the ticket, I asked while handing over 20 baht to her: “Chatuchak market?” And I saw immediately in her face that No.16 was not headed towards Chatuchak market. She took the 20 baht, but didn’t give me any ticket. Instead, she sat in an empty seat just in front of me and showed me with the hand to stay where I was. “Oki doki” I thought. And I sat there looking through the window, filming and taking photos of my very first bus ride in Bangkok (the one from the airport to Khao San Rd. doesn’t count :-). The first time is always exciting.

After just a few stops, she said to me: “Next stop. Bus No.3.” And gave me back my 20 baht. How cool is that?! I got off on that stop and prepared to wait for No.3.

After 20 minutes waiting time it seemed that all other busses except No.3 were coming and going… And then, bus No. 524 stopped even without me waiving. The doors opened and an old lady stood there shouting: “Chatuchak market, Chatuchak market!” Very cool! Immidiately I forgot the bus No. 3 and boarded this one. The bus ticket costs only 15 baht, BTW!

After ca. 30 min., No. 524 stopped in front of the BTS/MRT Mo Chit station entrance. The old lady conductor pointed towards the market entrance: “Go there.”

Following tourist masses, finally I reached this world famous market…

Not sure what this market is so famous for, tho’. Clothing, souvenirs, handycraft, tea… everything and anything immaginable can be obtained there. But, honestly, neither the choice is bigger nor the prices are lower than in the city and it pays visiting only if you wish to see the largest market in Asia! And, as far haggling is concerned… forget it. Nobody’s going to haggle with you if you’re buying any of the stuff in usual quantities… (or at least not seriously haggle).

To be continued…

My first Tuk Tuk ride and the Lucky Buddha scam

Last night I was too tired to continue writing, so I’m continuing today… and today I meant to brag about my first ever TukTuk ride and how happy I was and what a nice experience that was (ok, except for a short stop at the “Silk factory outlet”) and how I donated a flower wreath to the “Lucky Buddha”, which will bring me luck and prosperity…

Yeah, right. Lucky Buddha my ass. Yesterday I lost the city map which I have been using, so today at breakfast I wanted to look up in Internet the location of that Lucky Buddha temple I visited yesterday. WTF?! First few Google search results for the keywords “Lucky Buddha” were actually blog posts about the “Lucky Buddha scam” (for example this one: Lucky Buddha Scam). Oh, no. 😔 But, go on, read for yourself. Here’s the full story…

Lucky Buddha scam

Yesterday, after the marvelous Khon show, I decided to walk back to where I started, instead of taking the shuttle bus. I was loosely headed towards the Grand Palace and Wat Pho area but I didn’t really have any set itinerary for the day.

Don’t trust young students on the streets of Bangkok

I was walking down the street for a while, when this nice friendly young guy approached me on the the Charoen Krung Rd. He seemed really nice and so we started chit-chatting about everything and anything. His english was really good, he introduced himself as a student, studying Engineering here in Bangkok. At some point he asked me where I was going. I’m not sure now what I answered, but he went on saying “you know, the temple is closed now, because of the Buddhist holiday”. I never bothered to ask to which temple he was referring to and before I knew it, he said: “You should go and donate a flower to the Lucky Buddha today. Today is a special day! This will bring you luck and prosperity”. Fak, yeah! That’s exactly what I need – luck and prosperity. And I knew today was some big day for Buddhists, as the Emerald Buddha Temple was closed for public today. “Ok, dude”, I thought to myself, “keep on talkin’.” “Do you have a map?” he asked. Of course I had a map. I’m a genuine tourist. So I handed over the map and he encircled three locations on it:

  1. Lucky Buddha Temple
  2. Silk factory outlet
  3. Tall Buddha (Standing Buddha)

“Did you watch the news yesterday?” he asked. “No, there’s no TV in my hostel”, I replied. “You know, today is the last day of factory sales in Thailand. During one week in a year, Thai government waives the taxes on garment sales so that people can buy clothes tax-free.” Now, I’m not a shopper, but if I could find some nice summer pants, I would perhaps buy those…

“Let me get you a TukTuk”, he added. What? “No, man. Thanks. I prefer walking”, I replied. He asked: “Why would you wanna walk all this way, when you can take a TukTuk for 150 baht?” My spontneous reaction was: “150?!? WTF?!” He saw that, so he quickly corrected himself: “Ok, 100 baht”. I was like: “Cannot the driver just take me to the first place for 30 baht and I’ll continue from there?” He looked at me as if I was crazy. “Why?” he asked. “Because I love walking around” and I proudly took out my iPhone and showed him my Health app with yesterday’s 32.911 steps.

He looked at me again, he was not sure if I’m crazy or he is. “C’mon, 100 baht” – and he quickly hailed a TukTuk which was just passing by (or so it seemed to me at the moment :-), not waiting for my reaction. “100 baht” went through my head. “This is less than 3 EUR.” And since I never took the TukTuk before, this was my chance. “Yeah, man. Let’s go!” I said to myself and jumped on the TukTuk. “YOU’LL REMEMBER ME!” I heard him shout while I was riding away in the back seat of the TukTuk for the first time of my life…

My very first TukTuk ride

And, boy was I happy at that moment! I was off to donate a flower to Lucky Buddha, filming my TukTuk ride from every possible angle and chatting with the driver, who -by the way- spoke some basic english, too. Just imagine how cool this experience is for a first timer: relaxing in the back of the TukTuk, warm smelly air of Bangkok boulevards blowing through my hair (and nostrils). Me sitting there and smiling as if I just reached the ultimate Ananda (= state of bliss or happiness in Hindu philosophy, rem. NewLifeGuru). The ride took somewhat longer than expected and when we finally arrived at a small temple, he parked his TukTuk in the shade of the inner yard. It struck me that the Lucky Buddha temple was really small, but I didn’t give it much thought. Dudes, I was about to “get lucky” (well, in a different way), so I didn’t care for anything else at this moment.

The “Lucky Buddha”

We got off the TukTuk and my driver led me to a store, where I dropped 20 baht to a donation box. We took 3 incense sticks and a beautiful Marigold garland (wreath of soft yellow flowers) and we went over to the “Lucky Buddha”, where he showed me how to burn incense sticks and donate the flower to the Buddha. “Normally”, he said – “people use only one incense stick”, but since it’s a special holiday today, “three incense sticks should be used.” Boy, was I lucky that I happened to be in Thailand exactly on this important day…

He then sent me inside the chapel to pray to the Buddha. So I took off my shoes, opened the sliding door and went in. I was alone in the chapel in front of this beautiful golden Buddha statue. Actually, there was three of them, so I wasn’t really sure which one is THE Lucky Buddha. Anyways, I previously read somewhere how to properly sit in front of the Buddha and how your feet must be showing backwards and must never be turned towards the Buddha. I’m not an overly religious person, but I try to respect that sort of things. So I was sitting there on the carpet with my feet tucked behind my lucky ass, admiring the divine aura of the golden Buddha statue(s)… look, I’m not a Buddhist – but merely a Tourist, so I did what we tourists do best – I took some photos of the Buddha and the chapel and left…

After I finished “praying”, my friendly driver took me to another small chapel in the back of the Temple, where I saw a small version of the “Reclining Buddha”. Like any good tourist, I took some more photos and since I had another few coins left in my pocket, I dropped those in the donation box.

When I finished here, my new friend showed me around the small temple some more. There were many Buddha statues in a row: Buddha for those born on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday… and there was even one “for every day” (?!). There were also many school pupils around. He said that the temple is attached to the school and started elaborating on that topic in his basic english. Oh, dude. At that moment I had enough of the “Lucky Buddha” experience. I knew that my luck and happiness were anyway not going to come to me right there on the spot, but rather in the time to come, so I suggested that we move on…

A friendly stranger

The TukTuk was not parked in the same place where he left it when we came, so my nice driver led me to it around the corner. BTW, all this time I was in a total state of bliss, had my guard completely down. I just had my first ever TukTuk ride, had just donated a flower to the “Lucky Buddha” and enjoying the smell of incense in the shades of the temple’s inner yard. Is this life, or what? Had he led me to some dark corridor at that moment, I would have followed without a question. I felt totally safe and secure.

“Do you need to go to the toilet before we continue our tour?” my driver asked.

“No, thank you” I replied.

“Ok, but I do.” he added. “Please jump in the back seat and wait for me here. I’ll be right back.”

So he disappeared somewhere and I was left there waiting at the back of the TukTuk, reviewing the new photos on my mobile.

“Where are you from?” – the question came from a local guy sitting on a bench just a few feet away.

He was sitting there so relaxed, as if he had all the time in the world, his legs crossed and arms resting on the bench.

“From Serbia, Europe” I replied.

“Aaah, Serbia. Mmmh.” he acknowledged.

“You here on a horiday?”

“Yep.”

“How wong you stay?”

“Just four days. After that I’m taking the train to Malaysia.”

“Aah, ok. Maraysia. Beautifuw country”.

Then he went on saying that he’s just after making a donation to the Lucky Buddha. His wife is pregnant, he said while showing the “big stomach” with his hand. They want a boy, that’s why he was here to pray to the Buddha. “Aha, and now that you made a donation to the Buddha, you’re sitting here and chilling by yourself? Don’t you have to go back to work?! Or go and be there for your pregnant wife?” – that’s probably what any random suspecting policeman personality would have been asking themselves. But not me. I felt that – me too – I just donated to the Buddha, so we’re in the same boat, buddy. I could totally relate. His wife is pregnant and he’s praying for a boy. How neat is that?!

“You’re lucky that you’re here today”, he said. “Today is a big religious holiday.” A thought crossed my mind: “Yeah dude, I know this even without you telling me. The Emerald Buddha Temple was closed for public today and the place was full of monks.”

“And did you know that today is the last day of the one-week tax free sales, sponsored by the government?” Nah, I didn’t know that. Oh, wait – yeah, that guy on the street mentioned it.

“I’m not the kind of guy that wears suits”, I replied.

“You know where Armani suits are made?” he continued. “Here, in Thailand. And why? Because of cheap labour, good quality and low export tax”. “Export tax” yeah, right. But, at that point in time I was not listening anymore, as I really had enough of the “Lucky Buddha time” and I sure had enough of waiting in the back of the TukTuk.

“Yeah, I have that factory outlet on my itinerary for today” I told him.

“Ok, good!” he approved and continued with the story of his brother, who lives in New York and who is always using the chance to buy his Armani suits here in Thailand. “In New York, you would pay 2000 $ for the same suit you can buy here for 5 times less. For 300 – 400 $ you can get a tailor made suit here in Bangkok!”

“Man, I really don’t need a suit, but – do you think I can buy only pants at the factory outlet?” I asked because he seemed so friendly and I just wanted simple cotton or linen (not rayon!) summer pants.

“Yes, of course! You can buy only shirt or only pants, sure…” as the friendly stranger was finishing the sentence, my driver finally appeared. He jumped in the driver’s seat and we drove off to…

The “Silk Factory Outlet” and the Guy from the Outdoor Gym

After a relatively short ride, the driver parked in front of a fancy tailor suit store. “This sure don’t look like a huge governmental silk factory outlet store” I thought to myself. I looked at the driver: “Is this the silk factory outlet?” “Yes, yes, yes” he replied quickly while nodding. Hm. Ok. So I pushed the glas door and entered the fancy air conditioned tailor shop. I was greeted at the door by a somewhat short but sharp dressed gentleman with a slight Indian accent: “Welcome, Sir.”

The tailor shop looked just as fancy on the inside as it did on the outside. A few neat design models and fancy suit mannequins were displayed among the endless rolls of silk and cotton fabric. Honestly, I felt somewhat embarrased, being in a place like that, wearing beat up and dusty tracking shoes and a black polo shirt “decorated” all over by white traces of dried sweat. Yuk!

In the back of the shop, there was a group of fine young gentleman sitting on a leather couch and chatting. And among them I recognized my new acquaintance from Myanmar, whom I met a night before in the outdoor gym in the Rommaninat park. “Talking about a small world” briefly crossed my mind. I excused myself with the fine gentleman at the door for a moment and friendly waved to my new acquaintance. He stood up and came to greet me. The short guy was not pleased about how the situation developed. They exchanged a few words in some foreign language and the only thing I understood from their conversation was the “weight lifting” gestures my new ‘friend’ made.

My new acquaintance went back to his group on the couch and I turned to the short guy saying that I was trully sorry, as I landed here by mistake. I thanked him and said goodbye, then took his hand with both my hands and shook it, leaving him standing there in a state of shock. Ok, being a salesman indulging in tourist scams, probably he was not that shocked, but nevertheless…

The Tall Buddha

My friendly driver did not seem to be very surprised to see me coming out of the tailor shop so quickly. He was immediately ready and we moved on towards the Tall Buddha Temple. The entrance fee is 40 baht and inside one can admire the huge 32 m tall golden Buddha statue. Very cool, very tall but… honestly, I’ve had enough of this tour.

So I quickly left the temple just to find my driver slurping some chicken feet soup at a nearby hawker’s. I wasn’t hungry at all, otherwise I would probably have joined him. He quickly finished his soup, cleaned his mouth with one hand, paid for the soup and got back on the TukTuk to get me back to Grand palace area.

The actual Lucky Buddha Scam

All of the sudden I didn’t feel like going there anymore, so I asked the driver to drop me off at Dinso Rd., near my hostel. When we arrived there, I took out 100 baht, which was what we agreed for the ride and and another 100 baht as tip for being nice and friendly and showing me how to donate the flower to the “Lucky Buddha”, on my way to luck and prosperity.

I got off the TukTuk being as happy as a guy can be. Luck was bound to come my way and I paid only 200 baht for it altogether (that’s less than 6 EUR). Little did I know at that moment that it was all part of a scam scheme. What?!

Today morning while looking up the location of Lucky Buddha in Internet, the whole story revealed. The nice and friendly Engineering student, the TukTuk driver, the relaxed guy on the bench in the Lucky Buddha temple, the tailor shop – they were all part of the “Lucky Buddha scam”. What a disappointment. Not because of the 200 baht. Not at all. Actually, the whole experience was worth much more than that. It was even funny and exciting in a way.

What is most disappointing -besides the realisation that I was being totally naive- is that for a moment I actually thought lady luck might be coming my way for those 200 baht. I’ll have to try a bit harder next time, I guess… 😀

Bonus story about life, luck and happiness

This whole story reminds me of a guy who went to throw himself off a very high bridge into a deep and cold river. He climbed on the railing and was standing there for some time, sobbing and crying on that cold December night. “Hey, stop!” said a voice behind him. “What are you doing?”

He turned around and saw a guy, dressed as Santa, looking at him with his arm extended invitingly: “Please don’t jump. Don’t give up that easy. Come down, let’s talk”. Our guy steps down from the railing and asks Santa: “Who are you, man?” Santa replied: “I’m an Angel. This clothes are merely a disguise. You see, winter after winter so many people are taking their lives and this can be avoided. That’s why we Angels, we’re roaming the Earth and helping people and preventing suicides.”

“Yeah, right. How in the world will you be able to help me? Recently I lost my job and yesterday I caught my beloved wife cheating on me with another man. My kids don’t respect me at all and I’m probably the unluckiest and unhappiest person in the world” said the poor guy.

“No, no, no, it’s not all that bad! We angels can revert all that! Would you like that?” asked the Angel.

“Yes! Of course!” replied the man.

“Ok. We’ll undo all those negative things that you went through.” said the Angel. “After all, Christmas is coming in a few days and you should be with your beloved family, celebrating Christmas. But, you see, we Angels like to have fun, too.”

“Ok. So what can I do for you?” asked our guy.

“This will perhaps sound a bit weird, but – I want you to…” Angel whispered quietly in poor guys ear: “give me a nice BJ”.

“What?! No way I’m doing that!” said the guy.

“Ok, you don’t have to. But then I cannot help you. Sorry. I can see that you’re of the selfish kind and we Angels, we don’t like selfish people. Selfish people always expect to get something for nothing.” – Angel replied in his calm angel’s voice.

“Ok, ok. I’ll do it!” the guy said. And he got down to it…

After a while, Angel asked -while our guy was still busy doing the BJ- “I’m just being curious – how old are you?” Guy replied: “44”.

And the Angel then asked: “Seriously, dude, you’re 44 years old and you still believe in Angels?!?”

Grand palace, Wat Phra Kaew and Thai masked dance

I woke up today morning around 6 AM, had a quick breakfast and walked straight to the Grand Palace entrance. There, I was one of the first visitors to queue up in front of those metal detector gates. At 08:30 sharp, the gates were open. This time I was ready, unlike yesterday. Yesterday I went there in bermudas and flip-flops. Of course, they re-directed me already at the first gate from the queue directly into a shop of some sort, so that I can buy long pants. 200 baht for sh!tty 100% rayon pants? No way. I walked away yesterday. But today – a different story. Long pants, shoes instead of flip flops…

Bought the ticket (500 baht) and went inside. So beautiful. Right after the entrance gate there was an official desk offering free guided tours. Cool! So I registered for the first tour, which was at 10 AM. The tour started and I learned really a lot about Thai history, Royal dynasty, architecture, some religious background etc. Only, after 5 minutes, I lost my group because of the crowd. And when I say “crowd” I mean crowd: 10.000 Chinese tourists filling up the last square inch of the temple grounds.

So I went back to the desk and signed up for the tour at 10:30 AM. Actually, I first tried to find my original group, but after just one round of running around in the heat, I gave up. Which turned out to be quite a lucky strike! Joie, the new guide was even better. By far. And she was also kind to wait for and look after her visitors 😀. And she told us so many amazing stories about the temple’s architecture, royal family, Thai history, the Emerald Buddha,… Really nice.

After literally running through the public area of the Grand palace in the hot midday sun, I went outside to catch the shuttle bus to Khong, Thai masked dance. After a short bus ride we reached the theatre. And the show was AMAZING!!! Excellent live music and marvellous dancing with some really cool scenography. And all that included in the Grand palace entrance fee. Great.

My first ever TukTuk ride

After the show, I decided to walk a bit instead of taking the shuttle bus. And sure enough, after a few meters, a young guy approches me and we started some chit chat conversation…

Uh. My eyes are closing. I’m so tired… sorry folks, to be contd. tomorrow. 😇

Arrived in Bangkok!

Yes, I know – I haven’t been writing since October 2018. This is due to techn… nah, this time I’ll tell it like it is: nothing blog-worthy has happened to me since. I lost ca. 10 kg, lost my job, did a roadtrip around Asia, thrown a big mid-life party and… I’m telling ya – nothing really… I mean, who in the world would blog about such boring things?

Ok, but now I decided not to be lazy anymore and update this blog regularly. So here you go:

I arrived to Bangkok yesterday. What a beautiful city! To me personally, it feels like a mixture of Saigon and Taipei. And I’m loving it!

My hostel is located near Khao San Rd. / Democracy monument, so I took the bus S1 from the airport to Khao San bus stop. It took some 50 minutes and the ticket costs 60 baht (that’s approx 1,7 EUR).

The History Hostel

The History Hostel was easy to find in a side street of Dinso Alley. I was greeted by an extremely nice lady at the front desk. She immediately found my online booking and after I paid for the next 5 nights, she showed me the room. Really cozy and clean 4 bed dorm (although currently I’m alone in the room). AC works like a charm and the bed is very comfy and clean!

First ever Eurowings and low cost long haul flight

I managed to get some sleep on the plane (I had the whole 29th row for myself, so I laid accross four seats). BTW, this was my first Eurowings and my first long-haul low cost experience! I booked the cheapest ticket for ca. 200 EUR one-way (no food, no seat pre-reservation, no in-flight entertainment). Mostly a nice experience, specially considering the fare. While boarding, me being a smartie, I grabbed one of the blankets from the overhead bin and took it with me to my seat. And there he came, the cabin attendant, yelling after me: “folks in the front rows have paid for these blankets, you cannot simply take one like that!” He was so loud, other passengers already started turning to see what was going on. Oh, well. I decided not to buy the bloody blanket for 6 EUR as he offered. The rest of the flight went just fine. In the morning, before landing, they even served some complementary drinks. So I had a cup of black tea.

Train ticket to Penang / George Town

Ok, back to Bangkok… My plan was to buy the train ticket to Penang / George Town for Monday, 20th May. So I walked to Bangkok Hua Lamphong train station to get this done already the first day. In various Internet forums and blogs they say that you can take your time with buying the ticket, but I figured I better get this off my to-do list…

The lady at the ticket desk spoke very good english and after typing in the date in her booking system, she turned the monitor towards me and said: booked out! What? How can this be? Ok, “I’ll take first class”, I said. “Mister”, she replied, “this train is booked out”. Oh well, that’s my luck 😊. So I bought the last 2nd class ticket for 19th May…

Dudes and dudettes, sorry, but I’ll have to continue writting tomorrow. I need to sleep now. Today I made 32.991 steps according to my iPhone’s Health app (~20 km). And in the evening I worked out at the outdoor gym in the nearby Rommaninat park. So I’m quite tired now.