Papa’s got a brand new job. Again. But this time I ain’t gonna write about it. Because last time I announced my new job on this blog – it didn’t end all that well… ok, perhaps I’ll share just this short anecdote of my first day at work.
First Monday of the new year, my first day at the new company. Team meeting. Kick off meeting, so to say. Started at 8 AM and didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. It was all about the usual stuff: new team members short introduction, where do we stand, future plans…
My new colleagues would occasionally get up during the meeting, quietly leave the room and go to the men’s room. One after another, taking care not to disturb the flow of the meeting…
Somewhere around noon, I felt it was time for me to get up and go freshen up a bit. And then I thought: “shall I ask where the toilet was?” Nah, that would just disturb the meeting. I’ll just quietly get up, walk to the door, exit the meeting room and look for the toilet. I mean, how hard can that be?
Said. Done. Got up, went to the door, slowly closed the door behind me on the way out… and now? Left? Right? Left. Ok. So i walked down the long corridor looking for the toilet. And sure enough – I found it. Ladies’ toilet. Duh. Ok, look further… next door: WC for disabled persons. Oh, man. Next door: storage room. Crazy shit. And where’s the men’s room?
I didn’t want to be absent from the meeting for too long, so I decided to use the disabled toilette. Opened the door, stepped in and… no light. Fcuk. Usually they have movement detector in the disabled toilettes, which switches on the light the moment you enter. But not here…
The toilette was spacey, as they usually are, but I couldn’t see sh*t because there was no light. No light switch on the wall. Bravo. Who TF makes a toilette where you cannot even switch on the light??
On the wall across the door there was a red cord hanging from the ceiling, so i figured this must be some kind of alarm, you know, if something happens or assistance is needed… so I looked further: ah, how cool is this. Another cord hanging from the wall next to the lamp just above the mirror. Can it be alarm, too? Hm. Go figure. “Nah, this one looks different.” I thought as I pulled the cord.
WEEP-PEEP WEEP-PEEP WEEP-PEEP WEEP-PEEP. Aaaaa. I knew it. Why TF do they make these sirens so loud?? No, really. Why? Fcuk. What do I do now? OMG. “Dude, now you’re screwed” I said to myself. WEEP-PEEP WEEP-PEEP. “Ok, calm down. Think. Pull on the cord again.” Nah, not helping. WEEP-PEEP WEEP-PEEP. Found some switch on the opposite wall. “Push the fcuking button. Press, man.” Why doesn’t it stop? WEEP-PEEP WEEP-PEEP.
You know, looking for a solution in the dark toilette while the bloody alarm was beeping as loud as it possibly could… fcuk. Why such sh*t always happens to me?
Sometimes I get into situations… oh, man… just like Peter Sellers in “The Party”. “Birdy nam nam”.
WEEP-PEEP WEEP-PEEP WEEP-PEEP Ok, this will obviously not stop beeping by itself… and before paramedics or firemen storm the floor, I better ask for help.
So I went back to the meeting room and explained the situation as good as I could… oh, boy. My face was probably red as lobster. Three colleagues and my new boss followed me to the toilette, looking for the way to switch off the bloody alarm.
And finally, an older colleague did it. That switch which I was also trying to press… you have to press it twice in a row. Quickly. Tack-tack. And then the alarm finally stopped. Huh.
An then the boss asked: “but, say, why did you pull on that cord?” Hm. Yeah. Why? “I just wanted to turn on the light.” And then the other colleague started making funny remarks: “and why in the world did you use disabled toilette??” But, man, I didn’t. I didn’t even start using it…
And then we all went back to the meeting room to finish the meeting. Calmly, as if nothing happened.
OMG. A bit of excitement the very first day. This job is bound to be something totally different… haha. 🤗