Month: August 2021

When you wake up hating Mondays, you can be 100% sure that you’re doing something wrong. You’re not in the flow. You feel drained, you’re missing the direction. Any direction.

From the current perspective, I’m almost certain that any direction would be better than floating around this huge ocean of life, like some old abandoned raft…

Guess what? It’s Monday. I’m dragging my feet to the metro station on my way to the office. It’s cold and dark, and this bloody rain doesn’t help, either. Going down the stairs, putting the mask on. Being forced to wear the fcuking mask is so annoying, I cannot breathe. I hate it.

Now I almost wrote “and I hate my job” but… you know, if you hate it – leave it. So, nah, I don’t hate it. It’s a stable monthly income. But if you’re a fish and the job requires a lot of tree climbing, well… you ain’t gonna be the top performer in this job…

Persistency can compensate for lack of skills or experience but it comes at a cost. It costs time and it drains energy…

Maybe I feel like this just because of fcukin ‘rona? It’s lowkey killing me every day, bit by bit… I sold all of my PFE stock the other day. Sure enough didn’t sell at the highest high (not even near the peak, unfortunately). But, ok… anyway I expect markets to pull back a bit. Recent bull runs have been crazy. Gates said on the CNBSee he expects things to be back to normal by the end of 2022. Some others have mentioned spring 2022. The moment JPow announces tapering, the sell-off begins. Wait and see. Latest in December. I just hope there won’t come an even greater evil after ‘rona cards have been played out. You know, a war or… some other shit… “back to normal” my ass…

Or am I this broken because it’s autmn already? Dunno. Autmn weather in August feels strange. The nights are so fcuking cold. Hello? Universe? G*d? What’s going on?

You know that feeling when you wake up to a new, sunny day… quite different than yesterday. You thank the Universe that you woke up alive and free and you feel like you wanna shout from happiness.

The world is turning and you feel like turning along, as if you were on a huge carousel. And so the world is turning and you are turning and your thoughts are turning. And you look at the blue skies and you feel nothing but joy. Pure joy.

Yesterday I donated blood. It has been almost a year since I’ve done it last time… and it feels good. Are we allowed to feel good when we’ve done good? Haha. Some would say: “what an egoistic act. Giving, in order to feel good. How pathetic”… but then again, he or she who gets this blood – I’m pretty sure they won’t be going into my reasons for donating blood…

I need a break. Yep. Auszeit, as locals would say. You know, just disappear from the face of the Earth for some time. Get my sh!t together, reorganise, review my life goals… call me sissy, I don’t care. I just don’t feel like sparring with office-chair cowboys and corporate elbow fighters anymore.

Ok, life outside corporate environment is for sure not easier… specially without a job or better yet “regular monthly income” (doesn’t need to be a 9-5 job). But… as I said – I feel like I need a break.

So what do regular gurus do when they feel like taking some time off? Well, Osho would probably make himself comfortable in one of his diamond-studded Rolls Royces and tell his bodyguard driver in his calm, soothing voice: “Take me to the place where I can be one with myself”.

I imagine this poor driver first looking at Osho through the rear view mirror hoping for further instructions. But when he’d notice that Osho is just absently staring at some far away point through the heavy, tinted window, the driver would turn his head around in despair and say: “But sir, you know that the place where you will become one with yourself and the whole universe lies… within…”

Osho would then suddenly rouse from this meditative state and give the driver that wild-eyed look, saying: “Dude, who’s the guru here? Just drive. Please.” and finish this sentence with a guruish smile…

Sadhguru, on the other hand, would probably jump on one of his Harleys and drive away alone into the wilderness (accompanied by a video crew of 20 people)…

And what do New Life Gurus do in such situations? Hm… you know what I did? I fired up my computer and typed in Google: “Take a break and travel the world”.

And guess what appeared among the first five search results? “taking a midlife gap year”. How in the world does Google know that I’m a midlife person?? Ok, ok… never mind. Stupid question. Google knows everything.

So I learned that I’m 1. obviously not alone in this ( which is obvious, since there’s even a thing called ‘midlife gap year’) and 2. I totally want to do this. It’s only that… fcuking ‘rona is not exactly helping… I’ll probably have to wait until it’s over. Bill said that he hopes for the world to be ‘completely back to normal’ by the end of 2022. Whatever the ‘normal’ will be by then…

Ok, so – I’ll just save up a bit of $€¥, get ready and … off we go! 🛫

This Belgian couple did just that: midlifetrip.blog Very cool. ☀️👍

Let me know if you wanna join me! 🤗 Let’s travel the world together 🌎

I woke up this morning feeling really tired. So tired.
Tired of being overweight.
Tired of being lazy.
Tired of not being where I want to be…

So I fired up the computer and…

…continued playing video games while eating cookies… 🤷🏻‍♂️

Trying to initiate some changes but constantly falling back to the old habbits… to the point where it hurts. Knowing what’s right but still doing wrong things… oh, man… 🥺